Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap