someone threw a dead crab at me
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high