I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Randomize
