I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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