Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
