just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
