I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Cover your peen. We're going out.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
