I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
