that's an acceptable place to lick
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I know her cup size but not her name....
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