I'm so fucking centered right now
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
