This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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