Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize