I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
