The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize