Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
