I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Congratulations! We have a period
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