i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
you would pick up someone in the library
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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