Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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