dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
