You can't special order awesome
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Randomize
