I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Too much gin, very little bucket
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
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