you would pick up someone in the library
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize