i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
