dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
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