She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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