just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
