But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Randomize
