I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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