he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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