Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
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