Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
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i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
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I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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