her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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