Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
