Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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