I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
