so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
