We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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