hell yes lets make some ravioli
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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