Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
porn star boner night. come get it.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
my poor anus
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
