I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
