I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
