You can't special order awesome
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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