sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
