We're facebook friends in real life
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
