I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
