At least make sure they are 18
Why
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Never let your siblings swipe right.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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