If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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