I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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