just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
All I want is dick and wine.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
