Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
