Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
