found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
