I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
