bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
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The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
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Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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