Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
