I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
