honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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