I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
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