My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
