i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
sick fucks of a feather flock together
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
