Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
