i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
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I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
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You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
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