So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
